


By My Own Hand

by Shadow_Wolfe99



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Bisexual Harry Potter, Canon Divergence - Post-Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gen, M/M, Multi, Not Canon Compliant - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:41:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29130477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Wolfe99/pseuds/Shadow_Wolfe99
Summary: When one soulmate turns 15, both a shown an image of the other and a confirmation mark appears on their wrist.When Harry discovers his, he refuses to accept it, knowing that it will cause the destruction of them both.Hermione refuses to allow her best friend to die so takes the option out of his hand. Will her meddling be enough to combat both boys stubbornness?
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Pansy Parkinson/Blaise Zabini, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

# Prologue

As midnight struck on the fifth of June, Harry was startled awake by the image. His soulmate. He shook his head but the image wouldn't leave. He swore quietly. Of all the people it could have been, it had to be him. He didn't care that he wasn't straight. He'd figured that out the school year before because of Cedric, but he didn't need to have a soulmate. Didn't need it to be Him! Didn't want it to be him. He also knew that rejecting the soulmate connection meant death. Before the tournament, he might have cared. Might have conceded that a shitty soulmate was better than death. He knew better than that since Cedric had died. He closed his eyes. He'd make peace with everyone. If he saw them before death came knocking anyway. He'd received no owls since school had broken up. Hedwig had returned without her letters, so they'd been delivered to someone. 

He woke up later that day to a sharp tapping on his window and Hedwig hooting softly. He sat up, placing his glasses on his face and scowled. It wasn't an owl he knew. He took the letter and the large, menacing bird took off. 

**_Potter,_ **

**_This was not the turn of events I'd ever anticipated. Perhaps we should discuss._ **

**_D. M_ **

Harry tore the paper to shreds. Had he been at school, he would have burnt it to ash. There was nothing to discuss. Death would be preferable to being bound to that prick for the rest of eternity. Fate was clearly an idiot. He could have worked that out before. His entire past was just repeated reminders that fate was cruel and unkind. This soulmate pairing was just another example. He laid back down and decided that he would do everything possible to avoid any kind of interaction with his _soulmate._

He didn't leave his room unless it was to use the bathroom or get something to eat. He didn't leave the house. He stayed in his room and silently pretended he didn't exist. The Dursley's were more than happy with the arrangement. So one night when his door unlocked whilst the key was still in the lock, Harry sat up and stared, not bothering to lift his wand. Death was coming one way or the other. Maybe it was the deatheaters coming to finish off what they'd started. Maybe it was Voldemort.

It was neither. Mad-Eye and some other unknown people were stood outside his door. They explained nothing but insisted he pack up his trunk. While not particularly interested, he did as he was told and followed them outside. Hedwig took off into the night sky while one of the strangers took his trunk and disapperated. 

They flew on broomsticks until they landed somewhere in London. They took him into a building that miraculously appeared. Adults were arguing loudly in the room straight ahead but Molly appeared and sent him upstairs. In the bedroom he was sharing with Ron, he sat on the bed his trunk had been placed beside. 

"How are you, mate?" Ron asked.

Harry shrugged. "Like you care. Not a single owl the entire summer. Just ignore the fact that I watched Cedric die and Voldemort return. I'm bloody fabulous, Ron."

Hermione rushed in and hugged him, but Harry quickly shrugged her off. He was supposed to make peace with them, but he couldn't ignore the fury in his chest long enough. Molly called them down for dinner after a while but Harry opted not to. He wasn't hungry and he didn't particularly care what the house was or why he'd been brought there. 

There was a knock on the bedroom door. 

"Harry?" Sirius said questioningly. 

He rolled over to face his godfather, wishing he could summon some kind of energy to greet him. 

"How are you?"

Harry shrugged. "Trying to pretend I'm not utterly furious with Ron or Hermione for not sending an owl. Trying to pretend that I'm fine having watched Cedric die. Pretend I'm not permanently tired. I don't want anything to do with this war, Sirius. I don't want anything to do with anything anymore."

Sirius crossed the threshold, shutting the door behind him, and sat on the edge of the bed. He patted Harry's shoulder gently.

"I understand that far more than you know, Harry. I wish there were a way to protect you from everything you've already seen. You're too young to have had to have seen it. The first war was supposed to create a better future for you and your generation. Your parents and I fought so hard to allow you to escape this nightmare world. I'm sorry we couldn't make that for you."

He shrugged again. "Voldemort was dead. None of you could have predicted he'd be back. The war was over. Can you tell the others not to worry? I'm just going to sleep. We can talk more tomorrow."

He didn't talk more. In fact, he decidedly avoided everyone except for mealtimes. By the time school came around again, he was half-convinced his voice no longer worked, he'd spoken so little. Ginny had appeared rather rejected, but Harry wasn't entirely sure why. Ron and Hermione were clearly soulmates, even if neither of them confirmed it out right. Harry was actually rather glad when they were all taken to King's Cross. Being around so many happy soulmates just frustrated him and made his decision that much easier. He could never have what they all clearly had. No, he would avoid his soulmate until it killed them both. After all, 

_All is fair in love and war._


	2. Chapter 2

# Chapter 1

When he recieved no response, Draco came to the conclusion that Harry was most definitely in denial. Or perhaps that his muggle relatives didn't allow him to receive owls. He convinced himself that one of those was the reasons because otherwise he'd have to listen to the sinking feeling in his gut. The sinking feeling that traitorously suggested that Harry wanted him dead. He couldn't allow himself to believe that the gryffindor had drifted so far away from his typical character. He kept his soulmate a secret from his parents, insisting that it was some hufflepuff girl he'd never spoken to before. Didn't even know her name. His father was too preoccupied to care but his mother looked at him with a knowing frown. For once in his life, he couldn't wait for the pressured environment of Hogwarts to take him away. Being in the manor allowed him way too much time to think about his soulmate and the possibility that he was being rejected. It hurt too much to contemplate.

"Did you find out who your soulmate was Draco?" Pansy asked on the train.

He made a non-committal noise. She definitely didn't need the gossip that he was soulmates with the Chosen One. At least she was no longer falling all over him. She had Blaise for that. He didn't look particularly impressed with the turn of events but wasn't rejecting her. His sense of self-preservation was too strong for that. Was that Harry's problem? Had he failed to recieve the complete education on soulmates and didn't know he'd die in the rejection process. Another possibility that didn't make Draco's skin crawl, yet somehow didn't soothe the sinking gut. He closed his eyes and listened to the muted conversations of the other Slytherins.

When Harry was missing from the welcome feast, he knew every other possibilty was false. Harry was definitely avoiding him which could only mean he was getting rejected. He forced his panic to stay locked up inside but left shortly after the food was appeared. He started walking through the castle, too anxious to go to the common room yet. How was he supposed to stop the rejection? How could he keep himself alive if Harry had decided that they were both going to die? Why would the gryffindor act so irrationally?

He felt sick. He darted into the nearest toilet and threw up bile, having not eaten anything since early in the morning. He walked over to the sinks and paused when he saw the reflection behind him. Harry was stood, arms crossed and glaring.

"I'm sure you've worked out what's going to happen, Malfoy. I'd make your peace with everyone if I were you."

Without waiting for a reply, Harry vanished. Draco gripped the sink. He'd had the worst possible scenario confirmed and he had nothing to hold over Harry's head to force compliance. The professors weren't allowed to intervene with soulmate problems. He was going to die.

* * *

Stupid soulmate idiocy. He hadn't intended on finding Draco. He'd just been walking the castle, using the time up until the others left the great hall. He hadn't planned on going into the bathroom. He'd just acted upon some impulse. At least he knew how to avoid him again. Clearly fate had decided to push them together to avoid the rejection process. He mentally stuck his fingers up at it. He was not going to allow some stupid ethereal power to control his life. He was done playing by the rules of other people since all it did was cause people to die or feel too much pain. He wasn't a pawn. His life had been screwed over by a prophecy as a baby and now fate wanted him to be permanently attatched to his rival. The son of his enemy. He stalked up to the Fat Lady.

"Can you please let me in?" he asked, forcing his voice to sound as calm as possible.

"Password?" she replied.

"I don't know. They haven't told us yet. I just... I need to lie down. Please."

He expected the portrait to send him away, to insist he needed the password, but she gave him an odd look before opening up. He thanked her and stalked up to his dorm, lying on his bed and dragging the curtains closed. Stupid soulmates. What kind of rubbish was that anyway?

A while later he was woken up by the dorm room slamming shut and his curtains being yanked open. Hermione looked enraged.

"First of all, how did you even get in here without a password?" she demanded. "Second of all, why are you still sulking? We apologized for the letters, or lack thereof, but this is out of hand, Harry. Just how many meals have you skipped?"

He rolled his eyes, burying his face into his pillow. Why did she think it had anything to do with the summer or the Order? She was supposed to be the smart one of the group. She shoved him over and scowled at him.

"I'm not sulking," he snapped. "I was sleeping. The Fat Lady let me in because I asked nicely. I'm not skipping meals. I'm just not hungry. Get out of the boys dorm!"

Hermione looked stunned. He drew the curtains again and cast a silencing charm. He wanted no part in whatever arguments occured. They meant little to his shortened timeline anyway. He wasn't entirely certain how long he had left. Most people avoided the rejection process so there was very little written about it and even less discussed. All he knew was that it wouldn't be long. Once the soul realized it's mate wasn't going to stay connected they didn't stick around for very long. 

* * *

Hermione made her way down and out of the portrait hole where she faced the Fat Lady wth a frown.

"Why did you let Harry in without a password?" she asked. "You're not supposed to do that?"

"The boy is failing. I saw no harm he could cause by entering," the portrait replied.

Her frown deepened. "What do you mean failing? School hasn't even technically started yet. How can he be failing?"

"You will see. Some things are best left undiscussed."

She resisted the urge to stamp her foot in frustration. Harry had been off ever since the Order brought him to Grimmauld Place. At first she just thought it was because he was mad about the lack of letters from her or Ron but it was definitely more than that. She ducked back into the common room and sat down beside Ron on the sofa. Her soulmate connection made her feel slightly lighter but she couldn't ignore that there was something wrong with Harry. Maybe she could send a letter to Professor Lupin. Maybe he'd have a better idea. Ron nudged her.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" he asked.

"Don't you think Harry's been a bit... off?" she replied. 

He raised an eyebrow. "He saw You-Know-Who get brought back at the end of the tournament and watched Diggory get killed in front of him. Wouldn't you be a bit off?"

"I suppose but... I'm just worried."

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I know you are. He'll be alright. He always is."

* * *

Draco woke up in agony. His lungs hurt and his muscles felt tormented. The rejection was definitely happening and he hated it already. It was only day one of however many. He sat up and checked the time. Five thirty. Much too early to get ready for the day. He summoned some parchment and a self-filling quill then wrote a letter to his mother. She was the only one who would genuinely mourn his death. His slytherin friends might be sad for a bit but they'd get over it. His father... he'd been distant since the Quidditch World Cup. He charmed the letter to only be opened upon his death, before, begrudgingly, getting dressed and heading to the owlery. He frowned as Harry's snowy owl glided down to the perch.

"I don't think he'd be that impressed if I used you," Draco mumbled.

The owl stared at him then tried to snatch the letter out of his hand. He held it out of her reach and scowled at the bird.

"He wants nothing to do with me and will therefore rather die. I cannot use you, alright? Move over so that I can call one of the school birds."

The owl remained indignant, hooting softly at him. He groaned. She was clearly not moving anytime soon. He rolled his eyes and offered her the letter.

"Malfoy Manor. Look for Narcissa. Best avoid my father if you know what's good for you since apparently, you've decided to defy your owner."

The snowy owl took flight and Draco shook his head. He had no idea if the bird had any idea about the concept of soulmates or her owner's imminent death, but he also got a small amount of satisfaction in using her without Harry's agreement. It didn't even come close to the choice Draco was being denied, but it was the best he could get. He headed out of the owlery to run into Granger, who looked slightly frazzled. She frowned at him.

"Malfoy," she said.

"Granger," he replied, flinching internally at how gruff his voice sounded.

"Was that Hedwig I just saw?"

"How am I supposed to know who Hedwig is? It was the bird that took my letter. That's all that matters."

He took a step past her and wondered just how long it would take to die.

"Are you alright? You look a bit ill."

He didn't offer her a response. He was definitely going to need to enlist Pansy in glamouring his blatant sickness. Hopefully she wouldn't ask too many questions about it.

* * *

History of magic was quite possibly the most boring subject at the best of times. But given the migraine and total body ache he had, Professor Binns was all but singing him a lullaby. Hermione kept shooting strange glances in his direction but he ignored them for the most part. All he wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep. That way he had half a chance at dying in his sleep. Also left no room to run into Malfoy. Harry had already decided that he would skip herbology and potions, purely for the fact that they were shared classes with slytherin. He knew Hermione would try and rip into him over it, but he couldn't summon the energy to care. He put his head down on the desk and let his eyes fall shut. Who needed history of magic when you'd be dead in a few days?

Someone shook his shoulders.

"Harry, come on!" Ron complained. "We're gonna be late for defence. When did you become such a heavy bloody sleeper?"

He groaned. He didn't want to wake up. Sleep was all he wanted. Ron shook his shoulders again before dragging him to his feet. He leaned heavily on his friend as they walked (stumbled) through the hallways. He was a lead balloon and each step felt like absolute exhaustion.

After a year, he was shoved into a seat and almost immediately buckled over the desk. 

"What the hell happened to him?" Hermione asked.

"Dunno. Closest I could get to waking him up after history. You were right, 'Mione. There's something wrong with him," Ron replied.

The door closed and Harry startled, mostly awake. A toad-like woman in a hideous shade of pink walked through the classroom, using her wand to write on the chalkboard about O.W.L's. She was muttering something that sounded a lot like gibberish until Ron snapped that Cedric hadn't just died of his own accord.

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident," toad professor (he really hadn't caught whatever her name was) said.

Harry snorted. "I mean if you consider being struck by the killing curse an accident then sure. Absolutely accidental."

"Mr Potter, would you like to repeat what you just said out loud to the class?"

He shrugged. "If the ministry would like to bury their heads in the sand and call Diggory's death an accident then by all means, go ahead. It's really not as if a bunch of school kids are going to change their minds. This surely isn't what today's lesson is about, professor. If it is then I'd really like to be excused. Diggory is dead and there's no changing what happened regardless of whether the ministry would like to believe my recollection of events. So, if that is all this lesson is about, I shall leave."

He stood up and the toad professor looked both furious yet somehow shocked. He walked out of the classroom without a second glance, heading for the common room. He'd have a nap that Ron or Hermione would wake him up from. Maybe. If they didn't then who really cared anyway?

* * *

They somehow managed to drag Harry into the great hall for lunch but he really wasn't very conscious. He looked pale and kind of clammy. The food on his plate was mostly just pushed around in circles. Hermione exchanged a glance with Ron and frowned. She took a forkful of the chicken and bacon pie, catching a glimpse of her soulmate mark.

**RHRHWG**

She stared at it then looked at Harry again. He hadn't mentioned his soulmate mark even once. Refused to talk about it at all, even in the broad sense. Her stomach twisted. Surely it wasn't that. He couldn't be in rejection. She couldn't think of anyone their age who'd reject the Chosen One, even if they didn't know Harry. The alternative was that he was the one rejecting his soulmate. That was- Ron caught her eye and raised an eyebrow. Silently, she touched her mark then looked at Harry. Ron turned Harry's arm over. He had a mark, it just made no sense.

**COMH**

Usually the mark's were the initials of the soulmates and whatever children they were destined to have. Only one of Harry's letter's was in his name. Hermione looked back at Ron then caught a glimpse of Malfoy leaning against Parkinson. He looked worse than he had that morning. She looked back at Ron.

"Did I tell you I ran into Malfoy in the owlery this morning?" she said. "He seemed off."

Ron snorted. "It's Malfoy we're talking about. What about him isn't off?"

Harry stiffened but said nothing.

"When I say he was off, I mean he didn't insult me or act like a prat in any regard. Almost like he was scared."

"His father's a deatheater, Hermione," Harry said gruffly. "Maybe Voldemort moved into the manor. Maybe Malfoy's a deatheater now too. Who cares? The git deserves whatever's coming his way."


	3. Chapter 3

# Chapter 2

Harry didn't get out of bed the next day. Both she and Ron had tried to wake him up but he'd barely roused beyond a grunt in their direction. The two of them sat in the great hall, barely touching their breakfasts. If she was right, then Harry was dying and likely wouldn't survive the next couple of days at most. The owls flew in and her letter from Lupin dropped in front of her.

_Hermione,_

_I don't really know what to say about Harry. He wasn't handling things well over the summer. Sirius said he was tired, but didn't talk much more than that. I really wish I could be of more help. Have you tried talking to Professor McGonagall? She helped Sirius and I quite a lot when we were students. She's not quite as mean as she tries to come across and loves her students, especially her house, to pieces._

_Let me know how it goes_

_R.J. Lupin_

_p.s. Sirius says hello_

Hermione sighed and leaned on Ron's shoulder. She didn't know quite what she'd expected Lupin to be able to do. He wasn't a professor anymore and wasn't at Hogwarts. He couldn't really help Harry from a distance. Honestly it didn't seem like anything could help Harry. She looked over at the Slytherin table just as Malfoy seemed to faint. Parkinson and Zabini managed to discreetly prop him up but even from a distance it was obvious that he was very unwell. Possibly even dying. Hermione's heart skipped a beat. If Harry was soulmates with Malfoy, it would definitely explain why he was rejecting him. She nudged Ron.

"He looks just as bad as Harry, don't you think?" she asked quietly.

"Can't be... can it?" Ron replied. "Harry would have said if he was gay."

"Not necessarily, but if it is him, explains a lot. Possibly the only person Harry would rather die than be bound to."

Ron swore under his breath. Over at the slytherin table, Malfoy seemed to stir slightly and Zabini hauled him to his feet, trying to evacuate him as discreetly as possible. When Parkinson got up a couple of minutes after, Hermione followed her out of the hall.

"Parkinson," Hermione called, startling the slytherin.

"What do you want Granger?" Parkinson replied, turning to face her.

"What's wrong with Malfoy?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because I really want to be wrong."

Parkinson raised an eyebrow. "Never thought I'd ever hear those words come out of your mouth." She sighed. "But if you must know, he's going through soulmate rejection."

Hermione swore. She had really hoped that she'd be wrong just once. She needed to be wrong about it. She couldn't lose Harry. The slytherin frowned at her, crossing her arms tightly.

"Why did you want to be wrong about that? Would have thought getting rid of Malfoy would be a cause of celebration for you."

Hermione shook her head. "Not if it means losing Harry too."

Parkinson looked shocked. "Potter? You mean, Potter's rejecting too?"

She nodded. "Only students in the school. Too much of a coincidence for it not to be connected, don't you think?"

"But Potter's a gryffindor. He'd never reject Draco, and Draco is too slytherin to die, regardless of who he matched with."

"Harry went through a lot in the tournament. I think he wants out of the war. If he lets this kill him, he gets his wish. Plus, I don't think you understand how much Harry despises Malfoy. They've been at each other's throats since first year."

She and Parkinson both stared at each other with a mixture of resignation and sadness. They knew what was happening, both understood why but had no way of fixing it. Harry was never going to accept Malfoy as his soulmate. Malfoy had no way of making it happen. She tried to think back on everything she'd read about soulmates. There had to be a solution. She needed-

> **"Soulmates are naturally disinclined to reject their counterpart. The pain is often enough to disuade any such attempts. However, in cases where there is a forced separation, the rejection process often speeds up. What should be a potentially weeklong rejection shifts to days. The soulmates will suffer extreme pain, exhaustion and lack of all bodily functions. In short, their mortal bodies will begin to resign themselves to death."**

Hermione suddenly grabbed Parkinson's arm.

"We need to force them together," she said quickly. "Harry's been doing everything possible to avoid Malfoy. We need to force them together otherwise the souls will decide it's time to leave. They'll find euphoria elsewhere."

Parkinson rolled her eyes. "Force them together how? Draco can barely walk and I'm guessing that Potter hasn't even left his dorm room. We'd need to lock them in together where they'd have no choice but to- the room of requirement! It'll cater to the needs of those inside. It would force them together."

She nodded. "It's rumoured to be on the seventh floor isn't it?"

The slytherin smirked. "Both rumoured and confirmed. How soon can you get Potter up there?"

"Ron and I will levitate him through the walls if we have to."

* * *

Draco was barely awake with almost as little bodily control. It was like he was on the brink of sleep permanently. Blaise had sat them down in the courtyard, waiting for Pansy, wherever she'd gone. He was less sitting, more leaning, but at least he wasn't in the dungeons. He liked being in slytherin, but he really didn't want to die underground. Someone rushed towards them but he couldn't muster any survival response.

"Confirm for me that Potter is your soulmate?" Pansy asked quickly. She sounded almost giddy.

"How'd you work that out?" he asked in response.

"Granger. Potter's also dying and is the only student displaying signs of rejection. We made a plan that is basically the last ditch effort to save you both."

Draco forced his eyes to focus on her. "Harry told me himself that he wants nothing to do with it, Pansy. He's willing to die to avoid it."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, darling, but it's possible that forced proximity might change his mind. It's our last chance as you really don't appear to be surviving the day otherwise."

He nodded slowly and allowed Blaise to hoist him back to his feet. Pansy provided additional support on his other side and he allowed the exhaustion to slide even further over him. 

They went up so many stairs Draco got lost trying to work out where they were going. It wasn't until he heard Weaslebee string a very impolite sentence together that he even knew they'd found the others. Draco opened his eyes. Harry was very much being carried by the ginger and Granger was walking backwards and forwards with her eyes shut. 

"Where are we?" he asked quietly.

"Heading to the room of requirement, darling," Pansy replied.

Weaslebee looked in their direction with a confused expression. "How come you're still talking?"

"Probably because he's not the one stupid enough to reject his soulmate," Blaise replied, sounding pissed.

Maybe that was why he'd been so quiet about the whole situation. He couldn't comprehend choosing death over an uncomfortable reality. Two large wooden doors appeared where they once were not and Draco tried to remember anything about the room of requirement. He knew he'd read about it at some point but the details slipped his mind entirely. Granger aimed her wand at Harry and his body levitated out of Weaslebee's arms, stirring slightly. They began moving forwards, entering the come-and-go room. 

To his surprise, it wasn't a particularly furnished room. In fact, there was no furniture at all. The walls were padded and the floor was springy beneath their feet. Draco was propped against one of the walls and the other slytherins left the room. Harry was propped up a few feet to his left before the gryffindors left. Once the doors closed, Draco heard a lock click shut. He looked at Harry's practically comatose form and frowned.

"Is my existence really worth dying for, Potter?" he asked, not expecting a response. "I know we haven't exactly been friendly-"

"Understatement of the century," Harry cut in. "There are so many reasons why death is preferable to an infinite reality with you."

Draco felt as if he'd been punched in the gut. The air rushed out of his lungs and he fell sideways. His eyes closed to an endless, terrifying white.

* * *

Apparently being close to Malfoy was enough to wake him up just a little. He opened his eyes only to see Malfoy passed out, not breathing beside him. His heart seized. He didn't care about Malfoy, wanted nothing to do with the soulmates rubbish, but seeing the other boy dead was too stark of a reminder. Pain surged through him and tears welled in his eyes. The exhaustion tried to take over, to drag him into permanent unconsciousness, but he fought against it. 

"I'm sorry, Malfoy," he whispered. "I didn't like you. Still don't, but it never should have ended this way. We never should have been matched."

Something intrinsic set off inside him. He leaned over and the instant he touched Malfoy, the air was sucked from his lungs and he fell forwards into total whiteness.

_He gasped for air. Looking around, everything was white. It was somehow both sparkling and totally devoid of colour. He couldn't understand what was happening. Was this death?_

_"Deep breaths Potter," Malfoy said from behind him. "Doesn't help to panic about it."_

_He spun around. Malfoy was sitting primly on the ghost of metal bench. He was staring straight ahead, dressed in something vaguely resembling a grey robe._

_"Are we dead?" he asked._

_"Don't know. I had hoped to be reunited with dead relatives or something. Otherwise it would seem you rejected me for nothing."_

_Harry looked around. They appeared to be in a ghost version of King's Cross. With a sigh, he sat down on the floor stubbornly. Clearly there was much left to the unknown surrounding soulmates. The reading materials definitely suggested that if you rejected your soulmate that you'd die and have never formed the connection required to bind each other for life. Malfoy looked at him with a sad smile._

_"I didn't know you hated me that much, Potter," he said quietly. "Nice to know I got that far under your skin."_

_He rolled his eyes. "You earnt the amount I despise you. From day one you've been a stuck up, arrogant, pompous prick. Judging me, judging my friends, claiming the blood purity rhetoric as gospel. You gave me every reason to despise you, Malfoy, and not a single one to like you."_

_"You didn't have to like me. All you had to do is want to stay alive. You just needed to accept that-"_

_"I was tired of accepting things I had no choice in. I had no choice but to be an orphan, to have my life dictated by a prophecy, to be abused, to be a celebrity, to participate in a lethal competition or to watch a madman get resurrected and watch an innocent boy die. My hand was forced too many times. I wasn't about to accept another."_

_"So the one time you decide to be selfish, you take me down with you? That doesn't seem particularly fair, Potter."_

_"Life isn't fair. Wasn't fair to my parents, my godfather, Lupin. Certainly wasn't for me. You and I should never have been soulmates, Malfoy. We were incompatible."_

* * *

Hermione chewed her lip and paced. The doors had locked and none of them had any idea whether it would work. Her stomach was in knots. After a few laps, Ron pulled her to a stop and held her in his arms. The soulmate connection washed over her, soothing the vast majority of her anxiety.

"He's Harry Potter, 'Mione. He's the boy who lived. He will survive this," Ron whispered.

"He's not indestructable, Ronald. He almost died first, second, third and fourth year."

"Yeah, _almost_. He survives. He's too stubborn to die."

Footsteps marched towards them and Hermione stepped away from Ron. McGonagall, Snape and Dumbledore all appeared somewhere between cross and concerned. She glanced over at the slytherins. McGonagall cleared her throat.

"What is the meaning of this truancy?" she asked.

To her surprise, Pansy stepped up. "Professors, Headmaster, we are trying to stop two students from dying. They were rejecting their soulmates."

The teachers inhaled sharply. Ron took her hand and squeezed it tightly. Dumbledore frowned.

"Which students are currently in the room of requirement?" he asked.

"Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, sir," Ron said carefully. "They were rejecting one another incredibly fast. Our last shot at saving them was to put them together. We're waiting for them to come out, or for the doors to unlock, proving that they didn't make it."

The headmaster clasped his hands, an odd frown between his eyebrows. Snape eyed her and Ron with distaste but didn't comment. McGonagall looked concerned, but waited for Dumbledore to decide what would happen. After several tense minutes, the headmaster turned towards the professors.

"Minerva, alert Remus. Have him come, just in case. Harry's godfather will have to wait until we have confirmation either way. Severus, I would suggest waiting for a verdict before alerting Mr Malfoy's guardians. They will no doubt make a fuss otherwise." Dumbledore turned towards them again. "The four of you, wait here. Whatever the outcome, you must seek out a member of staff as soon as you know it. Understood?"

Hermione nodded and the two slytherins did the same. Whatever the outcome... she prayed to all the gods she didn't believe in for fate to come to only one.

* * *

_Draco felt the urge to cry. Potter had chosen to kill them both because_ life wasn't fair? _It seemed like such a childish ideology. He looked down at the other boy and frowned. Harry looked so... defeated. He'd chosen this path for them. He'd decided to kill them both. Why did he look as if all other options had been exhausted? He sighed and slid off the bench to sit on the floor beside his_ soulmate _. Harry frowned at him._

_"Since when do you sit on the floor?" he asked._

_Draco shrugged. "Since we're supposedly dead and my clothes no longer matter. Besides, doesn't really look like whatever this floor is made of is even dirty. Plus, you appear to be the only company I get in the afterlife so it makes more sense to sit on the same level as you."_

_"You don't stoop to anyone's level. Why bother now?"_

_"Because, I don't really want to live a miserable afterlife staring at a white wall. Neither of us has any idea how long we'll be here. We might as well make conversation."_

_Harry shook his head. "You're impossible. What are we likely to even have in common? You were raised getting everything and anything you wanted, whenever you wanted it. I was raised on scraps and slivers that they didn't notice I'd taken. I was shunned by my muggle relatives, had no idea that I was a wizard until Hagrid showed up, and then got shoved into a world where everyone wanted a piece of me without ever getting to know me. Malfoy, at what point do you think we're compatible? At what point do you think we can make easy conversation?"_

_He felt shellshocked. He didn't think Harry had ever said so many words to him in one go. When he didn't add to the conversation, Harry scowled and continued,_

_"That's not to mention that some of those people that wanted a piece of me, wanted that piece to be dead. Your father was one of them. Quirrel was one of them. Voldemort was one of them. Voldemort tried to kill me when I was a year old. Then again at eleven, and twelve. Once again at fourteen. I am tired of fighting everything and everyone. You added to my problems. You made everything worse. Of course when you were supposed to be my bloody soulmate, I wanted nothing to do with you. That's not even to mention that even if I had accepted it, neither of our families would have. Your father is a deatheater, Malfoy. He serves Voldemort and would willingly give me over to please the maniac. Can you honestly tell me that Lucius loves you enough to go against everything he's worked for for the last decade at least?"_

_Draco looked at the floor. He wanted to say yes, that his father would save them both, but it would have been a lie. Lucius Malfoy loved only one person and that was his mother. Even then, he was almost certain that it was just because of the soulmate connection between the two. He had to protect his mother to keep himself alive. The urge to cry resurfaced. He looked back at Harry._

_"Fuck my father," he whispered._

_Harry snorted. "You don't mean that. You're a daddy's boy."_

_"Not if it meant dying. If the choice was having my father or living... there's a reason I was placed in slytherin, Harry. My self preservation is far above my loyalty. I'd side with you and all of your freaky friends if it meant staying alive. Fuck it, I'd help you fight Voldemort if it meant keeping us alive. Don't underestimate my desire to live."_

_Harry sat up straighter, crossing his arms tightly. A strangely warm breeze filled the ghost station and Draco looked around for the source. With the breeze came a burst of hope. A call from the living world, perhaps. Were they not dead after all?_

_"You would turn your back on everything you'd been raised with? The blood purity rhetoric, the discrimination against werewolves? You could do that?"_

_Draco looked him in the eye. "I wouldn't be able to unlearn it in a day, but if it meant I got to live, I would without a doubt try. I'd apologize to Granger and Weasley. I want to live, Harry. I don't care how. I just want to be alive."_

_Harry looked at him for a while longer. The breeze got stronger and the burst of hope got bigger, more prominant. Harry then sighed, shaking his head and reached a hand out._

_"Don't make me regret this, Draco."_

_Instinctively, he reached out and the instant they touched, he was thrown into total darkness._

He choked on air, his lungs refusing to cooperate. He felt arms go around him, holding him. Harry quietly urged him to take deep breaths while sounding breathless himself. After a few moments, his lungs regained full function and he sagged against Harry's chest. He was so tired. His body felt heavy and useless.

"Sleep," Harry whispered. "Need to sleep."

Draco couldn't tell whether it was mindless babble or an order, but either way, his body responded and he felt himself drift off.


	4. Chapter 4

# Chapter 3

Hermione pressed against Ron's chest as they sat on the floor outside the room of requirement. She felt emotionally drained, despite the soulmate connection feeding her a constant state of calm. Blaise had conjured a chair for him to sit on and Pansy alternated between sitting on his lap and pacing in a circle. The four of them just wanted an answer. Even if the answer was death. Footsteps approached and Hermione glanced up. Lupin was walking towards them, hands clenching and unclenching by his sides, and eyes fixed on the door.

"Tell me what happened exactly?" he asked, a running undertone of anger in his voice.

Hermione sighed. "Harry was rejecting his soulmate. We don't know if it happened completely yet or not."

Lupin frowned. "Why would he-" He glanced at the slytherins. "Who is his soulmate?"

Ron tightened his hold and said, "Draco Malfoy."

Silence fell and none of them knew what else to do. She felt exhausted from doing nothing. If Sirius was aware of any part of the situation, he'd be going stir crazy back at headquarters. She couldn't imagine how stressed he would be not being able to protect his godson. The doors clicked and, despite her tiredness, Hermione jumped to her feet and pulled Ron with her. The five of them slowly entered the room. Frost covered the floor and the walls. Their breath made clouds. Harry and Draco were wrapped around each other. For a moment, she thought they were dead. But then she caught sight of the tiny clouds coming off them. She rushed to Harry's side.

"Harry, we need to get you up," she said. "Get you checked out in the hospital wing."

He groaned. "Tired. Staying here."

"You can't Harry. We need to get you checked out."

"Already died. Breathing and conscious. All good. Go away."

Pansy attempted the same thing with Malfoy and got a similar response. Lupin huffed impatiently before grabbing both of their arms and hauling them off the floor. The movement threatened to separate them and they woke up, scowling in the werewolf's direction. Lupin smirked in almost smug satisfaction.

"You can walk together but we are in fact going to the hospital wing," he said firmly, his teacher voice emerging.

* * *

He was faintly aware that they were moving. He was also very aware of Harry's arm around his shoulders. Pansy mumbled something that didn't make sense. Then they were lying down again, on the same bed. He was wrapped up in Harry's arms and a warm bubble surrounded them, bringing back the strength he'd lost.

He didn't quite know how he felt about Harry. They had talked in whatever half-alive place they'd been in, but it hadn't been exhaustive. They still had issues to sort out. He had apologies to make. Harry tightened his hold.

"You're thinking too loudly," he grumbled. "Shh!"

Draco smiled and pressed himself against his soulmate, allowing the warm bubble to soothe him back into unconsciousness.

* * *

She transfigured the wooden chair into an armchair and curled up in Ron's lap as they waited for Harry to wake up from whatever stupor he was in. Lupin was stood vigilantly on the other side, regularly aiming his wand at them to check they were still alive. About an hour passed when Padfoot trotted into the wing, disappearing behind the bed and pressed against Lupin. 

"Still passed out, Pads," Lupin said gently. "Alive, but not waking up. Pomfrey says there's nothing inherantly wrong with either of them right now. Soulmates connection is clearly doing something to them though."

Padfoot whined and Lupin rolled his eyes before casting a Notice-Me-Not around the bed. Sirius stood up and leaned against his soulmate, frowning at his godson.

"So, he was rejecting his soulmate. Why?" Sirius looked over at her. "Why would he choose to die?"

Hermione shrugged. "He was tired. Seen too much. Wanted to finally have a say in his fate. Also, Malfoy has been awful to all of us since first year. It's really no surprise that Harry wanted nothing to do with him."

"But he'd die. He chose to die."

"Yes. It was his choice to make. We decided that we didn't want to lose our friends. Shoved them into the room of requirement and the room locked us out. Something clearly happened because they went from avoiding each other to, well that. Both of them said something about having already died, but they weren't particularly coherant."

Sirius made an odd huffing noise similar to that of a dog and Lupin rolled his eyes. He conjured a chair and sat down. Sirius stood behind him, arms loosely looped around his neck. 

"Pads," Lupin said, "It's safer for everyone if you turn back into a dog. You're still a wanted criminal."

Sirius huffed again. "Not actually a bloody criminal, Moony. Being blamed for the actions of a rat."

"Yes, love, but the ministry doesn't want to pay attention and rumour has it, the Umbridge hag is in the building. I'd rather not lose you again."

Hermione smiled as Sirius unwillingly obeyed the logic and returned to Padfoot form. She pressed into Ron, causing him to wrap his arms around her, and she felt her own exhaustion pull her down.

* * *

Harry felt as if he'd been hit by a ton of bricks. He released his hold on Draco, rolling onto his back and nearly falling off the bed. Draco grabbed him and shuffled over, allowing him the space to lay flat. He didn't entirely know how he knew he wasn't truly dead. He had an inkling it was because his parents were absent but there was no real way to tell. He only remembered the conversation with Draco. The visuals of the not-really-dead place were fuzzy in his head and would likely fade with time. Draco shifted then made a strange sound.

"Harry, there's a dog watching us and it doesn't look happy," he said.

He pushed up on one elbow to see Padfoot sitting on an armchair staring at them.

"Padfoot, you're not supposed to be here," Harry sighed, flopping back down. "You're gonna get caught."

His godfather made a very indignant noise. He heard the clicking of claws on the floor before a snout was pressed against his arm. Harry turned his head and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't imagine that there's much I can tell you that Hermione hasn't already said. It's a complicated situation."

"Uh, Harry, why are you talking to the dog like it can understand English?" Draco asked.

He turned his head to look at his soulmate. "Because the dog is not a dog and the not dog can understand English perfectly."

Footsteps approached and he tensed instinctively. Draco mimicked the action and Padfoot crawled under the bed. The toad professor walked into view and sneered at them. He did not like the woman one little bit. He vaguely remembered ditching her Defence lesson. Draco stiffened further. Harry guessed that he knew her somehow.

"Mr Potter, I see you are awake," she said haughtily. "I came to inform you that your outburst in the last lesson you attended will result in detention in my office tomorrow evening. As will skipping today. Mr Malfoy, I do hope you feel better soon."

She sauntered off and Harry growled in irritation. Stupid toad woman. He could hear Padfoot gnashing his jaws beneath the bed, clearly expressing his distain with what he could only imagine were expletives.

More footsteps but they were vaguely familiar. When Remus rounded the corner, Harry sighed with relief. His former professor smiled at him.

"How are you Harry?" he asked.

"Don't suppose you know if someone threw a ton of bricks at me do you?" he replied.

Remus smiled wider then looked at Draco. "And you, Mr Malfoy?"

Draco shifted uncomfortably beside him. "I'm fine. Nothing sleep can't fix."

Harry sat up slowly and looked down at his soulmate. Draco looked incredibly uncomfortable, despite the cool facade he had plastered onto his face. They locked eyes and Draco's mask slipped. He was terrified. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Tonight isn't a full moon, Draco. Lupin isn't going to hurt you," he said.

Padfoot made a noise of deep protest as he scrabbled out from under the bed. He leapt up so that his front paws were on the bed. He gave his best impression of a scowl without the use of eyebrows.

"Lupin won't, but Padfoot might if you upset him," Harry added, with a smirk.

Draco didn't seem reassured as he sat up. He rolled his eyes and held his hand out, offering the pureblood physical reassurance despite there being no danger. Draco had a lot to unlearn and Harry would just have to learn patience with him. Now that he'd accepted the soulmates connection, it didn't feel like quite so much of a task. He looked at Remus then around the room.

"Where's 'Mione and Ron?" he asked. "Or Parkinson?"

"The slytherins were sent to their afternoon classes by Snape. I convinced Ron and Hermione to go get dinner. They apparently skipped breakfast to deal with your situation," Remus replied. 

Harry frowned. "Dinner? Was breakfast when they kicked us into the room of requirement."

Remus nodded sagely. "It's been a long day for all of us."


	5. Chapter 5

# Chapter 4

Remus and Sirius had to leave as night fell, but assured him that they'd be back in the morning for a very important discussion. Harry was not looking forward to it. Not even a little bit. Pomfrey insisted that he and Draco stay overnight, just to be on the safe side. Neither of them tried to argue. Too little was known about soulmate rejection. In theory, they should both have died. They sort of did. Draco sat at one end of the bed, cross-legged and quiet. It was strange, but Harry didn't miss the snarky comments. The truce between them was flimsy at best and he really didn't expect Draco to follow through with what he'd said. He would have to side against his parents in the war that was coming and they weren't going to be persuaded to switch teams. Lucius was too attached to Voldemort for that to happen.

"What's going to happen from here on out?" Draco asked quietly.

Harry shrugged. "You make good on what you said. We... figure something out. I don't really know, Draco. The situation is still complicated."

"I can't tell my parents about this. Can't let it slip at all. What the hell was fate thinking matching us?"

"No idea. Clearly fate was drunk. We're literally pawns on opposite sides of a chess board."

"How am I a pawn?"

"You're the child of a deatheater. You're easy leverage. Voldemort has loyalty to himself and only him. Probably doens't even have a soulmate. It would be too much of a risk to his conquest for eternal life."

Draco looked appalled but didn't comment. Harry couldn't work out whether it was because he couldn't argue the point or whether he was just staying quiet rather than cause an argument. Perhaps his spiel about choosing to live over everything else wasn't just desperation talking. The doors opened a crack, despite it being past visiting hours, and he frowned in their direction, even though he couldn't see past the privacy screen. Quiet footsteps approached then stopped by their bed though there was nobody there.

Hermione and Pansy appeared as his invisibility cloak was removed. He scowled at his best friend.

"Tell the whole school it exists why don't you," he whispered.

Hermione looked sheepish. "Sorry, Harry. In my defense, she already knew you had one."

"Of course I knew you had one," Pansy said with an eye roll. "There was no way you got away with so much using disillusionment charms. It was the obvious alternative."

Draco scoffed. "More like you overheard Weasley in second year."

Harry frowned while Hermione lifted her wand and cast a muffling charm around the bed. Hopefully that meant Pomfrey wouldn't come storming over in the space of a heartbeat. The two girls glanced between him and Draco with very intense looks.

"How are you both?" Hermione asked.

He shrugged. "Fine. Not dead."

"You both claimed you had died earlier," Pansy said.

"We did," Draco replied. "Sort of. Or at least, half-died. We were in a train station but there were no people or trains. It was just us."

"How do you know you were dead?" Hermione asked.

"Because we definitely weren't alive. Draco passed out and stopped breathing before we ended up there. It was like the air got sucked out of my lungs before I appeared. We most definitely were not alive." Harry frowned. "Probably our souls attempting their own last ditch attempt to stay alive."

Pansy suddenly glowered at him and within a second, had her wand in hand and shot a mild stinging jinx at him. He jerked back, reaching for his own wand which he didn't have and glared at her. Hermione was too, though she didn't look all that surprised. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Really, Pansy?" he drawled. "It's not bad enough that we died, you have to add to the drama."

The slytherin girl looked at him with her eyebrows so high they almost disappeared into her hairline. "You died because of him and you're fine with it? Have you gone insane? Do I need to check you into St. Mungo's?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "I'm still in possession of my faculties darling. His reasoning just made sense and, were I not possessing a strong sense of self-preservation, I'd probably have done the same in his position."

All three of them stared at him. Despite what he'd said, Harry wasn't fully convinced he was still sane. Perhaps dying had messed with his head. Draco shrugged, though he looked down with a somewhat uncomfortable expression. Nobody had the chance to say anything else though as Pomfrey marched into view and escorted the girls out. Harry yawned. How could he be tired after sleeping for hours? Draco looked at him, then at the bed.

"Are we supposed to sleep on the same bed?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Too good to share one?"

Draco looked up at him, straight in the eye. "Given that we spent hours on it earlier, I'd say that suggestion was ridiculous. I'm just wondering how much of a difference it would make if we had our own ones."

"Our souls did some freaky whatever earlier. I still feel awful, so I can only imagine you're in a similar way. Pretty sure the contact is supposed to make sure the connection is secure or something."

"Guess we're sharing a bed then."

* * *

When he woke up the next morning, Draco slid off the bed and into the still transfigured armchair. He pulled his knees to his chest and stared at the wall. He couldn't quite grasp the reality he faced. Being soulmates with Potter ensured that life would be anything but ordinary. He would have to somehow say goodbye to his mother without his father knowing. She would protect him, but since she was also bound to his father, she'd never leave him. Couldn't leave him. His father... Harry was right in that Lucius would choose to serve Voldemort over protecting his heir. They could always produce another child. Where was he supposed to go over the holidays? He knew he'd never be able to go to the muggle relatives Potter lived with. Didn't particularly want to either. A sharp tapping on the window brought him out of his musings. Harry's owl was sat on the window ledge, letter firmly tied to her foot. The noise woke Harry who frowned at his bird.

"Hedwig?" he said questioningly as he got up to accept the letter. 

He opened the window and took his letter, absently stroking the owl as he read the front of it. Harry looked up at him, still frowning.

"It's for you," he said, passing it over. "Why is my owl bringing you post?"

Draco smirked. "Because your bird was too stubborn to move when I sent my mother a letter. She tried stealing it too. Gave up trying after a while and used her to send it. I wasn't exactly at full capacity the day before yesterday."

Harry rolled his eyes before turning to stroke his owl and not-so-subtley check her over for any injuries. Draco opened his letter.

_**Dear Draco,** _

_**I don't fully understand why you sent what I can only assume is a Last Letter, however, I will assume that it has something to do with your soulmate. I know that you lied about who it was. Darling, you would never have a female soulmate, regardless of what your father believes. I should hope that you are able to read this letter and offer me a response to know that you are still alive. I shall presume that Severus is aware and therefore will be smart enough to know not to owl home unless you are in fact deceased.** _

_**I love you, my little dragon, regardless of whomever fate paired you with. You will forever be my son.** _

_**All my love,** _

_**Narcissa Malfoy** _

_**p.s. I adore the owl you sent. It's very clearly not a school owned one. I'd very much like to see her again.** _

Draco smiled. His mother always had been more perceptive than she ever let on. He glanced at Hedwig. Of course the stubborn bird had worked her way into his mother's heart. She was clearly a very loyal animal. Harry looked at him.

"What does your mother have to say?" 

"She knew I was lying about having a female soulmate. She also loves your owl," Draco replied. "Which isn't surprising. Hedwig seems delightful."

Harry smiled and resumed stroking the owl. "She was my first friend in the wizarding world. Keeps me sane whenever I have to go back to my aunt's in the summer."

He frowned. "Are they that bad?"

"Worse. Got better once I knew I was a wizard. They're too scared that I'll use magic on them. They don't know I'm not allowed to."

Draco folded the letter and crossed his arms. Harry had said he'd been abused in the half-alive place. Why would Dumbledore allow the golden boy to live with abusive muggles? Why did he have to live amongst muggles at all? Harry looked over at him.

"Why do you look confused?" he asked.

"Because it makes no sense that you were placed with muggles. Does Dumbledore know? That they're abusive I mean."

"Probably. My acceptance letter was addressed to the cupboard under the stairs. They didn't really have any other option. My godfather was imprisoned and my father was an only child. Both sets of grandparents are dead. That left my aunt."

"What about Prof- Lupin? He seems chummy enough with you."

Harry smiled sadly. "Yeah, but the werewolf issue would have caused problems when I was a baby. Can't exactly leave an infant alone for twenty-four hours. Wolfsbane potion wasn't a thing back then. Besides, Remus... never mind. He just wasn't an option."

"You're old enough now. Why couldn't you stay with him over the summers?"

"You realize that werewolves can almost never hold down a job right? Even if they miraculously get hired, which is almost never, they are out of commisson for the full moons and at least the day before and after. How would they have a house?"

Draco frowned. He hadn't ever really considered the implications of lycanthropy. To be fair, he hadn't really thought much about werewolves beyond what his father had said. Which was that they were deadly, vicious beasts. Lupin had never appeared dangerous. If anything, he seemed to try and come across as anything but predatory. He sighed. Unlearning his father's lessons were going to take a while.

* * *

Everyone stared as Harry and Draco entered the great hall. Hermione waved to them. Harry looked down and quickly hurried over to their table while Draco held his head up and walked normally towards the slytherin table. Hermione frowned at Harry before scowling at the staring students. Why they thought it was such a big deal was beyond her. 

"How are you, mate?" Ron asked. 

"Fine," Harry replied. "Feel perfectly normal. How does everyone know exactly?"

"I'm not sure, Harry. Maybe they worked it out when neither of you, nor us were around yesterday. Draco fainted at their table at breakfast. You literally didn't leave your bed, though I'm pretty sure none of your dormmates said anything."

"Course we didn't!" Seamus chimed in. "It was none of our business whether you got out of bed."

"Too right we didn't say anything," Neville added. "You looked dreadful."

Harry looked down at his plate, leaving the toast untouched. He didn't look unwell but he clearly wasn't comfortable with everyone knowing. He absently rubbed at the soulmate mark. A loud crash came from the slytherin table. All eyes turned towards it. Malfoy was stood up, wand aimed at Crabbe. He looked furious with a hint of fear. Ron grabbed Harry's arm, forcing him to sit back down.

"Leave it, Harry," Ron whispered.

Snape marched towards the slytherin table. With a single glance, all of the fifth years and a couple of the other slytherin students were on their feet and following him out of the great hall. There was a strange silence in the room which then broke by a whole lot of whispering. Harry clenched his fists beside his plate.

"What'd you reckon that was about?" Seamus asked.

"What do you bloody well think?" Dean replied. "They're the gossip of the century."

Harry stood up and walked out of the room. The owls flew in with the morning post and a single owl flew out of the doors, likely to deliver something for Harry.

* * *

An owl dropped a letter in front of him then flew off out of the courtyard. He sat down on one of the walls and opened it. 

_Harry,_

_Moony and I will be staying in Hogsmeade until the weekend. Perhaps you should come visit us here rather than at the school. That ministry hag can't know I'm around or that Moony is anywhere near Hogwarts. She'll have a field day._

_Bring your soulmate._

_Padfoot_

He rolled his eyes. Of course Sirius wanted him to bring Malfoy. He'd have a blast antagonizing the son of a deatheater. He hit his head on the stone wall behind him. The Hogwarts rumour mill didn't help with being the centre of attention. As if he needed the help in the first place. Stupid people had nothing better to do. He was just a boy who didn't die as a baby. He had no say in it. Random fluke of nature. Or magic. Now he was soulmates with the enemy. He hit his head again. Could he ever have a quiet year at Hogwarts? Would everything always be so bloody dramatic? He bashed his head for a third time. It only sort of hurt.

"People are such bloody gossips," Malfoy said as he approached.

"I'm aware," Harry replied. "They've been gossiping about me since I joined the wizarding world. What happend in the great hall?"

Malfoy sat across from him and crossed his arms. "The other deatheater sons suggested that they were going to tell their fathers what had happened. Snape made them all swear to secrecy. Doesn't mean life's going to be any easier though."

He shrugged. "Never does where I'm involved. Just seems to get harder and harder. People want more and more. I'm surprised I still have any of myself left. Oh and, we've been invited to Hogsmeade by Lupin and my godfather."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Why did they invite me?"

"Probably to ask whether your parents know and to work out whether you're actually willing to fight on our side. Or at the very least, hide with our side so that you don't threaten my life."

"Threaten _your_ life? You're the one who was rejecting."

Harry closed his eyes. He wasn't going to try and make Draco come with him to Hogsmeade. Certainly wasn't going to force him to switch sides in the war. He was still ready to die if that was what was coming for him. If it was at the hands of Voldemort... well that was what he was destined for anyway. Draco sighed.

"When are we going?"

"They're here until the weekend, but I'm going to find McGonagall later to get a free pass earlier."

"Let me know if you get one. We should get going. We have herbology in five minutes."

He opened his eyes and resigned himself to going to school properly. He didn't want to. He especially didn't want to go to herbology. He'd never particularly liked the subject. He stood up and walked towards the greenhouses side by side with his soulmate.

The day went by in a vague sort of blur. He wrote things down and performed a few spells, but he wasn't really paying attention. People kept whispering behind his back, to his left and right and directly in front of his face. The only ones that seemed to have gotten a grip on themselves were the gryffindors and Harry had no doubt in his mind that Ron, Hermione, the twins and Ginny had something to do with it. When the evening came, he headed to his detention with the toad professor. 

He was informed to write lines but she handed him one of her quills. His confusion vanished quickly after he began writing. The stupid quill was carving the words into his hand. He made no noise, even though it hurt like hell, and when the detention was over, he pulled his sleeve over his hand. He had not expected to run into Malfoy but his soulmate was waiting in the corridor with a foul look on his face. 

"What was your detention?" he asked.

"Writing lines," Harry replied. "Why are you here?"

"Don't trust her. She's known to be a bit... psychotic in the ministry."

Harry scoffed. Apparently he made some sort of movement with his hand because within a second Malfoy grabbed it, exposing the words. Harry snatched his hand back and walked off, hiding his hand inside his robe. He could hear Draco behind him but he didn't stop. Not until they were inside an empty classroom with the door shut. Malfoy looked at him with an incredulous expression.

"You have to tell someone about that, Harry," he snapped. "That's barbaric!"

"Tell who? She was appointed by the ministry. Dumbledore can't do anything about her or she wouldn't be here in the first place. She's here as punishment for claiming that Voldemort is back. The ministry have set their attack dog on us. Who am I supposed to tell?"

"Fuck it, Harry, if the ministry are the ones who sent her then you should go straight to the bloody minister!"

"Yes, I'll just walk into Fudge's office and inform him that the woman he sent is using torture techniques as punishment for minors. Sounds like a brilliant plan! Why didn't I think of it?"

"You can't keep that a secret, Harry."

Draco looked both furious and, surprisingly, deeply concerned. Harry sighed. He got the impression that his soulmate was not about to let it go.

* * *

"Do you even know where in Hogsmeade they're staying?" He asked.

He really didn't want to go see Lupin or Harry's godfather. Harry on the other hand, just seemed delighted to be leaving Hogwarts. Not that it was much of a surprise. Other than the gryffindors and the slytherins sworn to secrecy, the gossiping had not stopped. If anything, it got worse with any time spent between them. Merlin forbid soulmates talk to one another.

"Nope. They didn't say," Harry replied. "But, I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. We get to spend a whole day away from the bloody rumour mill. Don't know about you, but I've had it up to my hair with it."

Draco wasn't about to disagree. He loved getting attention, but the rumours were proving to be too much. He'd started feeling guilty about doing exactly that about Harry for the last four years. When they got to Hogsmeade, they took a trip into Zonko's, Honeydukes and a couple other places before stopping by the Hog's Head. 

"I don't suppose you've seen a man with a large black dog, by any chance?" Harry asked the barkeep.

"They said you'd be by," the barkeep replied. "Went on a walk down by the shrieking shack ten minutes ago."

Harry thanked the man and they started walking. 

It didn't take long before they heard loud barking followed by Lupin's laughter. Harry whistled and the black dog from before ran up to him, knocking him over. Draco looked down at them as Harry wrestled to get the dog off of him. Lupin walked over and he forced himself to stay still. It wasn't a full moon. Werewolves were no more of a threat than anyone else every other day of the month.

"Padfoot, behave yourself will you," Lupin said. 

The dog barked but slowly got off Harry. Draco offered him a hand up and enjoyed the momentary buzz of the soulmates connection.

Back at the Hog's Head, up in one of the guest rooms, Draco sat on the wooden desk chair while Harry flopped back on the bed. Lupin placed silencing spells on the room and locked the door. When he was done, the dog hopped up onto it's back legs at the same time as morphing into a man. Draco's eyes widened when he saw who it was. Sirius Black. The convict smirked at him.

"I assure you that I'm not actually a mass murderer," he said. "The two of them can attest to it."

His eyes flicked over to Harry who nodded. "Peter Pettigrew is the murderer. He's also the traitor who sold my parents out and is the moron who resurrected Voldemort."

A chill ran down his spine. Harry had seen so much. He'd been exposed to adult problems way before his time. His eyes dropped to the floor. His father was a faithful servant to a madman. He'd probably done some of the exposing. Harry was suddenly beside him and put a hand on his shoulder, the soulmates connection providing a low level comfort.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Harry asked.

"Why the hell did you think it would be a good idea to reject your soulmate?" Sirius demanded.

"He's the son of a deatheater, has been my rival at school since day one and to be entirely honest, I was tired of having to accept things that are out of my control. Imagine you had to be bound to Snape for the rest of eternity."

Draco looked up to see the looks of absolute revulsion in both men's eyes. They clearly didn't have a great relationship with their potions professor. Sirius shook his head.

"Doesn't mean you kill yourself, Harry! There are ways of avoiding your soulmate. You'd not have to be around them constantly."

"I didn't want a soulmate. I spent the entire summer hiding away from the world so that I'd never run into him. It's complicated, Padfoot. Regardless of what you see it as. Not all of us get to have a soulmate that works for them."

Sirius glared at Harry. "Soulmates are chosen by fate to be the perfect match, Harry. Regardless of what _you_ think, Malfoy clearly works well with you."

Lupin stepped in front of the convict, blocking their view of him. Draco looked up at Harry. He was getting angry very quickly. Draco covered the hand on his shoulder with his own and Harry looked down at him. As they stared into each other's eyes, the anger slowly faded and Harry exhaled, seemingly defeated. They looked back at the men and watched as Sirius sat down on the bed with his arms crossed. 

"Are the two of you alright now?" Lupin asked.

"Yeah. Rumours aside anyway," Harry replied. "Apparently it's a massive deal that we were matched."

"That's really not all that surprising, Harry. You and Mr Malfoy were rivals. Now you're suddenly soulmates. I can't see any of the animosity you had in third year."

Harry sighed. Draco glanced at him then back at Lupin.

"Pretty sure that's a lot to do with me deliberately not antagonizing the situation," he said quietly.

"Dropping the Malfoy act then?" Sirius asked.

"In a sense, yeah. I presume the two of you know my father well enough to know that he's not exactly the sentimental type. Harry pointed out that I'm hardly a barrier between handing him over to Voldemort."

Harry squeezed his shoulder gently and Sirius looked oddly disturbed. Lupin had a mask of neutrality on his face. They definitely knew his father.

"Yes, I imagine Lucius would throw anyone at Voldemort to gain his favour. Narcissa is probably the only one safe," Sirius grumbled

"Have they been informed?" Lupin asked.

Draco shook his head. "My mother knows it's not a girl but that's all. I deliberately didn't tell them. Father won't be impressed that I can't carry on the Malfoy name regardless."

Sirius hissed something about pureblood society that Remus rolled his eyes at before making eye contact with him.

"You can't tell them, Draco. Whether you like it or not, our main focus is protecting Harry, which means you can't see them again. It's too much of a risk."

He nodded. "I know. I'd like to say goodbye to my mother but I don't really know how to go about that without alerting my father. I'm essentially becoming a blood traitor, after all."

"We can work something out. I'll send an owl to Narcissa, though you should send one first telling her to look out for an unmarked letter arriving," Sirius replied.

The walk back to the castle was quiet. He and Harry were both in deep thought. Despite everything, the silence was calm. All the animosity they'd harboured before was completely absent. Neither of them were particularly fond of the reality but the desire to end it seemed to have gone. Draco hoped it was. He was trying to not behave as he'd been raised to, but it mostly consisted of biting his tongue rather than speaking. Staying quiet was definitely the easiest path.

"You can use Hedwig to owl your mother," Harry said. "She likes you apparently."

"She was friends with me before you were," Draco replied.

"I wouldn't classify us as friends. We're soulmates and we tolerate each other."

"For now. You're the only one fighting against a friendship at this point."

Harry stopped and looked at him with a frown. "We were rivals for four years. You caused a lot of damage. Perhaps you might want to try a different approach rather than just not saying what you're thinking out loud. You've still got apologies to make. As far as I'm aware, I've never done anything to you that wasn't justified. There's a reason I'm only tolerating you. I gave you the chance to be better. That's why I accepted the soulmate situation. I still want out of the war. I still want to make choices for myself rather than allow fate to decide. I stopped rejecting you so that you had a chance to not be a prick. So that you could make amends."

Draco nodded. "I understand. Unlearning fifteen years of bigotry isn't going to happen overnight."

"I know. Years of rivalry doesn't disappear overnight either."

They resumed walking and Draco wondered whether they ever could be friends. 


	6. Chapter 6

# Chapter 4

_**Mother** _

_**You are correct on both fronts. Feel free to dispose of or keep my Last Letter. The sentiment is unlikely to change.** _

_**However, things are to become far more complex. I shan't be coming home for the holidays. Any of them. I leave the excuses in your capable hands.** _

_**I** _ _**love you mother. I always shall.** _

_**Your son** _

_**Draco Malfoy.** _

_**p.s. Another letter shall be coming your way. It will be unmarked. Do not let father see either of these for the safety of all involved** _

Draco stared at the letter he'd written and sighed. He didn't want to send it. He didn't want to make it all true. Hedwig hooted at him from the perch, waiting patiently for him to hand it over. With a sigh, he sealed it and gave it to the bird. She took off immediately and he felt a crushing weight on his chest. He would do what was necessary to live, but he didn't know if he could cope with the pain that it would bring. His mother was his world. He wasn't a child anymore, he didn't _need_ her constant adoration, but he wanted it. He wanted it almost as much as he wanted to live. He felt rather than saw Harry arrive. 

"For what it's worth, I really am sorry," he said.

Draco shook his head. "I don't need your pity."

"It's not pity. I'm just apologizing for the fact that, in this instance, I got the long straw. I had no choice in whether my parents died. I was too young to ever have to make it. You're having to abandon your family in order to live. It's not right. It's not how it should be. Fate is truly fucked up to make this a path. I'm sorry you have to give up your mother, Draco."

They looked at each other and Draco forced himself to not wallow in self-pity. He blinked quickly as tears tried to escape. He looked up at the roosting owls, trying to not act like a child. Harry touched his arm and a reassuring wave rushed through the soulmate connection. It destroyed whatever barriers he still had and was pulled into a hug as the tears began to fall. Harry didn't say anything. He didn't need to. Him being there, allowing the soulmate connection to do it's thing was evidence enough. They couldn't hate each other anymore, even if they wanted to.

* * *

A couple of weeks passed and Harry earned two more detentions with toad professor. After each, Draco got more and more frustrated by his lack of action against her. This led to Harry doing his utmost to avoid his soulmate. However, as the school term progressed, the other soulmates apparently decided that they were going to shove their tongues down each others throats whenever they weren't in lessons. The common room, hallways, empty classrooms and even the great hall became places to avoid if you didn't want to witness near constant tonsil tennis. Harry took to hiding in the library, which due to Madam Pince being a grouchy woman, was generally safe from the snoggers. Occasionally someone would try their luck but they generally got banned from the library for a week.

When Draco sat down in the chair next to him, he scowled at his soulmate.

"Sod off, this is my hiding spot."

"Given that I'm pretty sure we're hiding from the same thing, I disagree," Draco replied, opening a DADA textbook to the exact same page he was on.

Madam Pince looked at them from her desk and frowned. "I won't be having any funny business going on in my library. I hope you understand me."

Harry shook his head. Snogging Malfoy wasn't even _on_ his priorities list. The pureblood seemingly agreed as he leaned on his elbow the opposite direction from him.

"I honestly can't believe Ron and Hermione went from bickering constantly to sucking each other's tongues out in the space of a few months," Harry grumbled.

Draco smirked. "Pansy and Blaise were always... touchy people, but now it's just atrocious. I put a charm on the dorm door to stop girls coming in after I caught them going at it. There's literally nowhere safe from them."

"Generally why I spend my free time in here unless I'm going to bed. I also perfected silencing charms because Dean and Seamus refuse to learn."

Madam Pince shushed them and they silently worked on their DADA essay. It was a miracle they knew anything about it because toad professor was an absolute nightmare. She never taught practical defence. Everything was theoretical which led to so much guesswork in the essay writing. Some giggling behind the bookshelves attracted the librarian's attention and thirty seconds later, a hufflepuff couple were kicked out of the room, their belongings charmed to chase them far away. Harry barely suppressed a snicker. Draco smiled at his essay, managing to maintain some form of composure. 

"Have you got another detention with Umbridge?" Draco asked after a few minutes.

"Tomorrow evening," he replied. "It's not a big deal."

"No just a ministry employee using black magic. Not a big deal at all."

"Why can't you drop it?"

"Because it shouldn't be dropped! Harry, she's literally scarring you because you're saying something the ministry doesn't like."

"And we've been over the fact that there's nothing we can do about her."

Draco scowled at him before flipping over his left hand to look at the words carved into it.

_I must not tell lies_

Harry knew he should have pulled his hand away but while the soulmate connection was buzzing, he knew they also wouldn't get into a massive argument over the topic. 

"You don't deserve to be punished for the truth, Harry," Draco whispered.

He was about to comment when Hermione and Ron rushed into the library. Harry jerked his hand away, hiding the evidence. Draco narrowed his eyes but didn't comment. Hermione frowned.

"You can hold hands you know."

"Yeah, Harry," Draco added. "We can hold hands."

The pureblooded prick couldn't keep the sneer out of his voice. Harry shook his head and packed up his stuff. How was he bound to such an unbelievable git? Why did the universe or fate or anyone with half a braincell think that they'd ever be good together? They hadn't had a single good interaction. At least none with words involved. He headed outside, not caring that it was cold, and aimed to find somewhere else to hide. 

* * *

While Harry was in detention, Draco tried to work out some semblance of a plan to get Umbridge ousted. There had to be a way. Dumbledore had no power over her and as far as he knew, the only one above her in the ministry was the minister himself. He paced the corridor outside the slytherin common room. His father was "friends" with the minister and he'd met the man back at the Quidditch World Cup. He stopped moving and leant against the wall. The minister was the only one with the power to remove Umbridge but, presuming the minister was the one behind her "righting the wrong" that Harry had done, he wouldn't be interested in listening. He sighed. It was the only way. He headed into the common room and into his dorm. The letter was a long shot, but it was the best chance he had.

Forty-eight hours later and Draco recieved a letter during breakfast. It had the ministry official stamp on it. He forced himself not to get his hopes up. For all he knew, it was a rejection letter. Pansy glanced at him with a raised eyebrow but he just shook his head. She didn't need to know anything. He cracked the seal and read through before getting up. He headed straight to the gryffindor table and tapped Harry on the shoulder. His soulmate looked up with a frown.

"Why do you look like the cheshire cat?" he asked.

Draco tilted his head. "What's a cheshire cat?" He shook his head. "Never mind. Can I talk to you privately?"

Harry shrugged and got up. He led them out of the great hall and into an empty classroom. Once there, Draco braced himself for an argument.

"I might have contact the minister of magic and he's agreed to meet with me."

Harry frowned. "Why does that concern me?"

"Because I need you to come as evidence of what Umbridge has done to you."

To his absolute surprise, Harry didn't start shouting. He didn't seem angry or even annoyed. He just sort of stared. At least until his hand moved up to his scar and rubbed it furiously. Draco raised an eyebrow.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Fine," Harry replied, sounding anything but.

Draco reached forward and touched his arm, which seemed to soothe him a bit. After a couple of minutes, Harry focused back on him.

"You contacted the minister about Umbridge and he agreed to see you?" 

"Well no. I contacted the minister and asked if I could discuss an urgent matter. He's friends with my father, Harry. A man who has a lot of connections within the ministry. He was hardly going to deny meeting with me."

Harry shook his head. Draco went to move his hand away but Harry stopped him and looked at him with desperate eyes. Draco tightened his grip. Clearly whatever had happened with his scar bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

"When are we supposed to be going to the ministry? How are we even supposed to get there?" Harry asked.

"That is where you come in," Draco replied. "You're going to need to ask Lupin to escort us. Technically, we require an adult to enter the ministry anyway. Meeting is in a week."

* * *

Harry was acting weirdly. He was avoiding everyone (though in his defence, the fifth years were snogging or hooking up non stop) but he was cagey about where he was going every time she asked. She'd ran into him a few times and, more often than not, he was with Draco. She couldn't help but think it was because he'd never come out to them.

One evening, she grabbed his wrist before he could leave the common room.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

He rolled his eyes and gestured to the couples around the room. "Away from that."

"To go see Draco?"

He scowled at her. "No, though he currently seems to be the only sane fifth year."

"Are you trying to hide your relationship Harry?"

"There is no relationship to hide, 'Mione. We're soulmates and have to tolerate each other to survive. That's it. He's a prick. He's said vile things to you. Why would you believe we were in a relationship?"

Hermione was rather shocked at his logic. "Well, because everytime I run into you, you're with him. You pulled your hand away the last time I saw you in the library."

"That's... we weren't holding hands."

She frowned. "Well it looked an awful lot like-"

As she took his hand to prove a point, she felt something in his skin. Before he could stop her, she pulled his hand closer and stared at the writing carved into his flesh. He yanked his hand back and started to walk away. She followed him and pulled him to a stop just outside the portrait hole.

"Harry, who did this to you?"

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter Hermione."

"Of course it matters! Have you reported this?"

"It wouldn't do any good. Just leave it alone."

"I will not leave it alone. Why haven't you reported this to anyone?"

"You're as bad as Draco. Learn to drop what doesn't involve you! He's sorting it out, all right. Despite my arguments, he is dealing with it. Don't tell anyone. Not even Ron."

He pulled away and stalked off. She couldn't help but feel a little rejected. He'd been pulling away since the tournament and it only seemed to be getting worse. She knew she'd been spending a lot of time with Ron but... she hung her head. Since her soulmate had been revealed, Ron had been the only one getting her attention, minus the one day she spent waiting to find out if Harry would die. She'd been a terrible friend.

* * *

Hedwig delivered a letter that he immediately recognized as Remus's. He left the great hall, abandoning his breakfast, and wandered out to the courtyard. Hedwig flew down and perched beside him on the bench. He stroked her absently as he opened it.

_Harry,_

_Could you have been any vaguer with your request? However, I know you wouldn't ask if it wasn't urgent, so yes. I will provide an escort service for you and Draco. Padfoot will be highly unimpressed to be left for too long so I'd like for you to make it quick, whatever it is._

_I'll meet you in Hogsmeade, at the Hog's Head._

_Moony_

Harry pressed his temples. Could he have been vaguer? He didn't think so. He hadn't known what to say without telling him everything but that wasn't an option. Sirius would find out and go vigilante justice for him. 

"Is that from Lupin?" Draco asked.

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin, glaring at his soulmate who was casually stroking Hedwig. 

"Do you stalk me or is there some kind of tracking element involved with soulmates?"

Draco smirked. "You're not exactly hard to find, Harry. Especially when you get up and leave in the middle of breakfast. Now answer the question."

He huffed. "Yes, it's from Lupin. He'll meet us in Hogsmeade though I am leaving the actual explaining up to you. Preferably without telling him that the ministry employee that my godfather already hates has made me carve words into my flesh. I'd really like for him to remain a wrongfully convicted criminal, not an actual one."

He stared at Draco who seemed fascinated by his bird. When he looked as if he'd become a statue, Harry poked him in the arm. Draco looked at him and shrugged.

"Well that's easy. We just tell him that we're going to get Sirius a trial. We'll use your memories as evidence to the fact that Pettigrew is alive, in which case, they'll be sufficient evidence to allow for a retrial where he can plead his case under veritaserum. Two birds, one stone."

Harry's eyebrows rose. "We can do that?"

Draco nodded. "My father's education wasn't all bigoted, you know. I was taught how to deal with the wizengamot from a very early age."

He grinned. If Sirius was freed, he'd never have to go back to the Dursley's. Sirius would get to live his life again. He jumped to his feet, spooking Hedwig, and hugged Draco as hard as he could. Draco laughed, hugging him back.

"Save it for after the trial, Harry. He's not free just yet."


End file.
